Taking a break in a relationship: Do’s and don’ts for couples

You may be still in love with your partner, but there can be times when you will feel like your relationship is going nowhere. Taking a break might seem to be a good idea to find out what the future holds for both the partners. This is not a full and final break-up, but a temporary separation. It can be good for couples who want some space, but don’t want to permanently cut off ties. However, you need to follow some rules while taking a break in a relationship.

When should couples take a break

Many people may wonder if it is okay for couples to take a break. But taking a break is simply a temporary chance for couples to figure out what not being together feels like. They can spend time on their personal growth during the separation time, suggests Dr Vaibhav Chaturvedi, Consultant, psychiatrist, Kokilaben Dhirubhai Ambani Hospital Indore.

Here are certain situations in which it may best for both partners to take a break in the relationship instead of trying to linger on.

1. You’re caught in an on-off cycle

Lovers who often have an on and off relationship might get caught in such a cycle. That’s because they don’t know if they can make their bond better after each break-up.

2. You don’t know if you have a real connection

If you want to find out if you have a real connection with your partner, but you are not sure, you should take some time away from your relationship.

3. You find yourself avoiding your partner

If you are making up excuses to be alone, something is off. Many of us like our alone time, but if you are actively avoiding your partner, that can be a problem, says the expert.

4. You’re worried about starting a fight

If you feel the need to lie because you’re so worried about starting a fight, your relationship has definitely reached a place where you need to take a break.

Taking a break can help couples

Taking a break will give you the space you both need. If you’ve been in a long-term relationship, it can feel suffocating. Space will give you the chance to make you realise if you are happier with your partner or without them. Let’s check out more benefits of breaking away from ‘we-time’ to take ‘me-time’!

1. Taking a break helps to figure out your priorities and life goals

Time apart will give you a chance to focus on what you want in life. If you don’t have the same priorities and life goals as your partner and you can’t compromise, then sadly this relationship isn’t for you.

2. Taking a break helps to learn if you are compatible

You may find a number of differences between you and your boyfriend, but this doesn’t mean you’re not compatible. If you doubt your compatibility then taking a break is a good thing.

3. Taking a break gives you the chance to miss each other

Remember the saying absence makes the heart grow fonder. We tend to forget why we fell in love, and so distance can help you remember it.

4. A break in a relationship might save it

Taking a break might be seen as a step before breaking up, but it’s not. It can save a relationship, make you realise if you have neglected your partner or taken them for granted.

Rules of pausing in a relationship

There are some dos and don’ts that couples should keep in mind while taking a break.

Do’s in a temporary break-up

1. Be honest

It may be difficult, but be honest about how you view your relationship, what you are hoping for and how you’re feeling.

2. Accountability

Take accountability for your feelings and actions before, during and after the break, says Dr Chaturvedi.

3. Define what a break means for you

We have different definitions of breaks in relationships, so it’s important to discuss what it means to you and your partner.

4. Set a time limit

Before taking a break, decide the end date, as being in an indefinite break, can lead to relationship anxiety.

5. Set clear boundaries and expectations

Setting rules and healthy boundaries will minimise the risk of hurting your partner. Breaks can be difficult to manage when you are so used to talking to your partner every day.

Don’ts when you are taking a break

1. Don’t abandon your responsibilities

If you and your partner’s finances are linked, taking a break can be a bit more challenging. So, discuss it beforehand with your partner about how you two will maintain your responsibilities to each other during the break.

2. Don’t take a break to avoid a break-up

Some people want to take a break from the relationship when they should actually cut ties. Yes, some issues can be resolved by taking time off, but not everything can.

3. Don’t force getting back together

Breaks can come to an end if you and your partner decide not to get back together. Just don’t force your partner to get back with you.

Taking a break might raise some questions and doubts. You can go to a therapist without your partner if you feel the need.