Signs of an emotionally draining friendship, and how to cope with it

Friendships are important at every stage of your life! Yes, you need someone you can vent out to about how hard life is. Knowing that you have someone to rely on is what entails a good friendship. But not all friendships are equal! While some friendships keep you happy, some exhaust you emotionally. Some friendships give you a reason to get through the day, while some make you dread the day you have to see them. If you feel emotionally exhausted every time you meet your friends, hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your friends are not friends. Here are the signs of an emotionally draining friendship and what you can do about it.

Signs of an emotionally draining friendship

Ever met someone who just sucks the energy out of you and leaves you emotionally exhausted whether on the phone or in person? Well, this is what we call a “toxic friendship” and here are the signs of an emotionally draining friendship as pointed out by emotional intelligence health coach Shivam:

1. You subconsciously or consciously try to avoid meeting or talking to them as they might say or do something that triggers you.
2. ⁠Your needs are often not met with them and everything revolves around them
3. ⁠Your positive feelings for them are no longer there and they have started to convert into resentment and hate.
4. ⁠You never find them when you need some help.
5. You are not growing it all in the friendship, if anything you seem to feel stuck.
6. You no longer enjoy or look forward to spending time with your friend.
7. A sense of anxiety, fatigue, or frustration takes over every time you talk or hang out with them.

How to deal with emotionally draining friendship?

While it is important to understand why your friend is behaving a certain way, not to the point where it becomes toxic for you. If you are stuck in a toxic situation like this, here are some ways to get out of an emotionally draining friendship.

1. Recognise the problem

First, you need to realise that there is a problem and you need to address it. The key, Shivam says, is being “conscious of how your emotions change around them and find ways to manage it better.” If you feel irritated, mentally exhausted, and unhappy around your friends, you need to rethink the friendship.

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Also Read: Here’s how you can cut off toxic friends from your life, without stirring drama

2. Know your limits

It is good to have a sense of humour, but does your friend cross the line every time? Ask yourself how much time and energy you have to give this friend, if it is not worth it stop! You need to realise your self-worth, limits, and priorities to set clear boundaries or cut them off completely.

3. Build boundaries

Once you have established that they are emotionally draining you, limit the amount of time you spend together. If there is a scope for communication and healthy space, try building boundaries instead rather than cutting them off completely, shares coach Shivam. If there is no scope, nothing will come off by dragging this on.

Also Read: How to set boundaries with friends and why

4. Communicate

If you think your friend keeps asking you the same questions and spends most of their time fixating on a single problem, you need to communicate your issues. Address the issue by keeping the focus on your friend, trying to help them understand how things can be better and that they should move on in life and not spend too much time on a single issue.

If you are surrounded by people who emotionally exhaust you, these ways can help you get out of the situation and be happier in life.